What am I doing here?

I seem to be turning the water works on full blast. stupid tears. It's really rediculous that I'm being so melodramatic. Tears don't help at all.


Today has to be the breaking point for me. My fried brain, heart and soul can't bear it anymore. What little hope I had has just withered away.


After a full day of unsuccessful attempts to get 4 video interviews, I'm worn down to the point where I care too much, but shouldn't.


I miss my family, and my friends. I miss my blanket of security. I have nothing like that here. I have friends. But, I can't just knock on their door and shed my tears and vent freely away.


I sound so depressing and so melodramatic, which I hate. It's like come on jennifer grow up. Life is never easy so take that illusion from your brain.


Calling my parents was a bad thing. All I did was cry for the most part. Great now I'm worrying people I love because I'm having a crisis of some sort.



Sometimes I wonder if it's just best to pack up my things, catch a taxi to the airport and head back to California. I mean what am I doing here? It's like I'm batting zero here.


I need my sanity back. I need to retain some smidge of who I am as a person and as a writer. Because I feel like I'm losing both.