Back to Chicagoland...

So I'm back after a week of pure happiness and relaxation in good old sunny California.

Just thinking about home makes me sad. Spending time with my parents and friends this past week makes my return a hard thing to do. I didn't realize how much I wanted...no NEEDED to see my parents and friends. To hear them. To talk to them. To be with them.

But, a good part of me is happy to be back. To restart the new chapter in my life. I also missed my friends here...I miss their personalities, jokes, conversations, etc. This quarter should hold some very exciting things in store for me. So I'm happy to be back to the role of aspiring journalist.


I really should go out to a movie tonight..try to dust off the homesick blues away. It's bad to start the quarter with a gloomy attitude.

Can I just say that my room seems bigger. I don't know why...but it does. lol. But, ask me that tomorrow...I'm sure I'll be heading down to the office demanding for a one bedroom apartment. nah. I need to save.


Wow it's only been four paragraphs and I already feel better. Words..they're powerful things.



well I should search some movie listings before I turn lazy and decide to stay inside.


p.s

sorry for the randomness. My mind is in the clouds. My heart is in California.

The almost end of a quarter...

It seems like a week ago when I went to that first day of orientation, but at the same time, I feel like it's been a century since I last saw my family and friends back home.


I can't look back and regret the decision of coming to Northwestern. I simply cannot. Yes it's been times when I've come close (very close) to calling quits. But, a word, a smile, a laugh, a "good job" keeps me going. Adding sparks to my dim fire.


Beat reporting has definitely been interesting and overwhelming for me, but rewarding. In part, I have learned so much on a topic that has been dear to my heart. I feel like I appreciate the beauty of nature and how important it is to really take care of it. "Don't destroy it, protect it". That's such a great motto.


I can't believe the first quarter is ending. I've been counting the days and hours for the day when I can walk out of Fisk Hall and yell on the top of my lungs: FREEDOM!

Freedom sounds delicious like that smooth melting truffle in your mouth, slowly taking you to that uncharted paradise meant only for you.


Life in Evanston/Illinois has been good to me. We've had our good and bad moments together. But, through these moments, I've learned so much about others and myself.


I learned that you just got to be yourself as much as possible. People will either like you or not like you. Why not just be yourself. You can't please everybody. Maybe we weren't meant to please everyone. Yes we're meant to be good to each other and be there for each other. But, do we have to lose ourselves in the process. No I don't think so.


I don't want to lose who I am. I'm a wallflower, calm (for the most part), helpful, loving, serious, weird and quirky girl. I use to want to be that popular girl. You know that one that everyone wanted to hangout with because you know they were cool. Sometimes that fantasy lingers for a small moment, but after the moment is gone, I realize that I'm not. I'll always be a little to shy and reserve for some people. I'll be a little too strange for others. I'll be a little too much of something. But, I believe that if you're lucky...you'll find people who can appreciate the differences without diminishing them.


I've heard this over and over: Jenn you're observant aren't you? My answer to that is yes. It's a trait I've tried to harness as much as possible. I'm constantly at the margins of conversations and activity because my eyes and ears are everywhere. Most times, I feel like there's really no use in me contributing to a conversation when it seems like it's going well without my feedback. But, I absolutely love watching people converse. I love how they tell a story and why they tell it. How they sigh in one part, and shrug in another. There's so much that you can learn by observing people.


It's also nice to help people. I've always felt this compelling need to help people. Whether it's a smile or a small gift. I just need to do it. It's fundamental.

Recently, I went to a small Mexican restaurant because I was craving some good old' Mexican food. The place was pretty good. First Mexican restaurant I've been to that makes their chips with flour tortilla instead of traditional corn tortillas. I was there by myself. I usually don't mind eating alone. But, there were all these groups with families and couples laughing and enjoying life. Adding to the ambiance was a man singing old traditional Latin songs. There was one...I don't remember the title that I use to hear my parents play all the time. Almost instantly, I felt tears gather, as I picked up my horchata. I had to get out of that place as soon as possible. I must have scared the waiters there since I paid my bill and almost sprinted out of that place. Of course I had leftovers since my mood had stopped me from enjoying my food. But here I am with a to go box and a dim mood at hand walking to the L stop. When I get to the platform, a nice homeless man jokes, "oh you brought me dinner". I immediately offer it to him. I really don't need the food. Who knows how long this man has eaten a decent meal. Here I am with my irrational mood, when this man is jolly and full of life as can be.

If anything I got from that event is that life is never easy. It never pans out exactly like you want, but you know what? Others have it worse than you. You got to take it and run with it. Life will pour out obstacles, but the key is not to let them conquer you.