As I get closer to graduation, so does the idea of what comes ahead. It seems eveyone is thinking about where they're heading to. Some are planning to go to New York, others are staying in Chicago, while the rest are scattered across the country.
So many options and so many decisions. I feel like I've arrived at some crossroad, where it's my turn to choose which path I will follow. I would love to say that at this very moment I'm jumping for joy, awaiting for the next big thing with open arms. But frankly, I'm a bit terrified.
Where do I go from here? What path should I follow? Simple Questions...but tough ones to answer.
Two of my friends here in Chicago are on the move--looking for apartments in Ny. They even set to head off there in two weeks to check them out. They asked me before, if I was considering NY...possibly get a four-bedroom apt. But being me, I've stalled.
NY is the right choice for my career. But my family and friends are in California. I miss them every second I'm here in Chicago. I know I know. There will come a day, where I'll have to make a decision based on what's best for me.
I wish I'd known they'd had plans to head out to NY to see apartments and whatnot. But atlast, how would they have known my stalling was just my slow way of pondering over things.
As of now, the future is a big cloud of I don't know...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
So today has definitely been any interesting one to say the least.
After talking to Cynthia and Ling yesterday via text about my possible move to NY, I couldn't help but cry all night. I love those two people. We're all different and similar at the same time. I know my move to NY will only distance me more with them. Cyn and Ling already do everything Ling and I use to do when I was back home. Before I wasn't miles up miles away. Somehow the distance has served to make ling and me distant. I'm not the person she shares things with. There's very little text, calls, etc. I guess I miss being that "it" friend. It's ridiculous I know. I love Cynthia very much. She's one of my best friends. I mean who could blame Ling for being close with her. I just wish I didn't feel so left behind. But that's part of life. People need things...need people. And sometimes those people aren't exactly you. If only memories could not only be captured, but held. I know sometimes I feel like If I could hold on to them...I'd never let go.
Bad? tragic? or both?
I don't know the answer. Maybe the answer isn't an easy one. Too bad cause I could definitely use a nice mug of hot coco and a "it's all better now" moment. Figured it wouldn't be that simple. What do you expect. Life is definitely interesting.
After talking to Cynthia and Ling yesterday via text about my possible move to NY, I couldn't help but cry all night. I love those two people. We're all different and similar at the same time. I know my move to NY will only distance me more with them. Cyn and Ling already do everything Ling and I use to do when I was back home. Before I wasn't miles up miles away. Somehow the distance has served to make ling and me distant. I'm not the person she shares things with. There's very little text, calls, etc. I guess I miss being that "it" friend. It's ridiculous I know. I love Cynthia very much. She's one of my best friends. I mean who could blame Ling for being close with her. I just wish I didn't feel so left behind. But that's part of life. People need things...need people. And sometimes those people aren't exactly you. If only memories could not only be captured, but held. I know sometimes I feel like If I could hold on to them...I'd never let go.
Bad? tragic? or both?
I don't know the answer. Maybe the answer isn't an easy one. Too bad cause I could definitely use a nice mug of hot coco and a "it's all better now" moment. Figured it wouldn't be that simple. What do you expect. Life is definitely interesting.
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Monday, October 18, 2010
Oh but the Future...
Oh but the Future...
